Dear Cleveland Browns,
We are writing to you to express our concerns and frustration.
There was a time when Steelers-Browns week was circled on everyone’s calendar. Beating the Browns meant more than any other victory (except the Super Bowl, of course). It was kind of like Michigan beating Ohio State, or USC beating UCLA. There were bragging rights involved.
But now, that is no longer the case. The Steelers have beaten the Browns so many consecutive times that everyone here in Pittsburgh has lost count. How many times has it been? 11? 15? 30? 50? I can’t even remember how many times we’ve beaten you, but I know it is too many.
Once upon a time, Steelers versus Browns was an epic battle on the scale of the Sharks versus the Jets. Nowadays, it is more analogous to sharks versus seals. And the Browns are the seals. They are little more than snacks for the hungry Steelers.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret. We really WANT you to beat us. No, I’m not joking. It’s true.
In the overall history of the series between the Steelers and the Browns, the Steelers lead 59-55. That’s pretty close. You have beaten us almost as many times as we have beaten you. That is what made the series great. Each time we played, the game was important. We knew that any time we stepped onto the field with the Browns, we could leave the game with a loss.
Even in the 70′s when we were the most dominant team of the decade, the Browns were an opponent that we could never take lightly. Fans in Pittsburgh may have hated the Browns, but we always had to respect them.
That is why we are concerned about the current state of the Browns. You are not upholding your end of the deal. We want you to be better. We really do.
Sure, it was fun beating you the first 5 times in a row. But after 11 straight wins, it’s getting rather monotonous.
We want you to beat us. And while you’re at it, beat the Ravens and the Bengals a few times. You see, if you were able to do that, it would be good for everyone.
The Cincinnati Bengals seem to have shed their losing ways, and currently sit atop the AFC North. The Steelers and Ravens are always competitive. It is only the Browns that are holding the AFC North back. If the Browns were better, the AFC North would undoubtedly be the most competitive division in the NFL. I’m sick of hearing NFL analysts brag about how tough the NFC East is. I want the AFC North to be king. And you are preventing that from happening.
The sad part is that you have the best fans in the NFL outside of Western Pennsylvania. You have no idea how much I hate verbalizing that, but it’s true. The fans in Cleveland are tremendous. They deserve better than what you are giving them.
That is why we make this collective plea. Please beat us. We want you to beat us. No, we NEED you to beat us. Just don’t do it this week. We still have ground that we need to make up on the Cincinnati Bengals.
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