Webster’s Dictionary defines a “dilemma” as “a situation requiring a choice between equally undesirable alternatives”, or “a usually undesirable or unpleasant choice”.
Steeler Nation faces a dilemma on Sunday. And I’m certain that I’m not the only Steelers fan who has lost sleep thinking about it.
The Baltimore Ravens will face the New England Patriots in the AFC Championship game. That thought alone is the stuff of nightmares for the average Steelers fan. But it gets even worse. Which team do you want to see win this game? See the problem?
That’s where the dilemma comes in. Posing that question to a Steelers fan is like asking someone which group they like more, the Nazis or the Ku Klux Klan. It’s like asking which they’d find more enjoyable; having their arm bit off by a lion, or having their leg bit off by a shark. Both answers are highly undesirable.
If you ask any Steelers fan which NFL team they hate the most, the Ravens and the Patriots are both likely to be among their top 3 answers. So supporting either team is highly undesirable.
If a Steelers fan says that they want the Patriots to win, that means that they’re tacitly rooting for pretty boy Brady, “The Hoodie”, and the rest of the Cheatriots.
Personally, I believe that Spygate may have cost the Steelers a Super Bowl ring, so I’ll never forgive the Patriots for that. Therefore, I’ll never root for them (unless a victory by the Patriots somehow helps the Steelers).
On the other hand, rooting for the Ravens means supporting Ray Lewis, Terrell Suggs, and the rest of the thugs from Baltimore. That’s NEVER going to happen.
So what is a Steelers fan to do on Sunday. Personally, I’ve been trying to think of a way that both teams could lose. That would be the ideal outcome. Perhaps an asteroid could collide with the field while the games is going on and smash both teams. Or maybe somewhere in the fine print of the NFL rule book, there’s an obscure, seldom used rule (like the “tuck rule”), that will allow the game to end with neither team being declared the victor. Can a playoff game end in a tie? And if so, does that mean that both teams would be eliminated? That would be an acceptable outcome, but I doubt that it will happen.
Frankly, I’d love to see the Ravens sack Tom Brady 30 times. And I’d also love to see the Patriots score 50 points and humiliate the Ravens’ defense. But either scenario would force me to subconsciously support one of the two hated foes, and I just won’t do that.
So now you understand the dilemma facing Steelers fans.
Hmmmmmm, I wonder if there are any asteroids heading towards Foxboro?