I know that there are a lot of gambling degenerates out there. You know who you are. You’re the guys who just can’t seem to enjoy a game unless you’ve got your entire 401K riding on the results.
Since you have so much riding on the game, I’ve decided to help you out. I know someone who knows just about everything. Whenever I need advice, it’s the first place that I go. That’s right, I’m talking about my mom.
To be fair, my mom isn’t much of a sports fan, but I think the gambling losers……errrrr, I mean gamblers might benefit from her insight. After all, gamblers will usually take advantage of any insight they can get their hands on.
So because I always try to meet the needs of my readers, I am going to have my mom share her insight on the big game.
Steelers Today: Hi mom. Thanks for agreeing to to this interview.
Mom: Anytime, son.
ST: Let’s start out by finding out who is your favorite team of all time. You can pick a team from any era.
Mom: Oh that’s easy. Luke and Laura.
ST: Luke and Laura. That’s a pretty good pick. They did make a great team. But personally, I prefer Sonny and Carly. (Bonus points to any Steelers Today readers who got that reference).
But let’s get right to the matter at hand; the Super Bowl. Do you know which 2 teams are playing in this year’s Super Bowl?
Mom: Oooh, I know that one. Ummmmmm, the Saints.
ST: That’s right Mom, the Saints are in the Super Bowl. Do you know who the other team is?
Mom: I’m not sure. Is it the Steelers?
ST: I wish. But no, the Steelers won’t be playing in the Super Bowl this year. It’s actually the Colts who will be playing the Saints.
Mom: Oh, Okay.
ST: Can you name any of the players from either team?
Mom: Shaquille Whatshisface?
ST: No, Shaq won’t be playing in this year’s Super Bowl, but that was a pretty good guess.
So let’s get right to the matter at hand. We’ve got a nation full of gamblers who are looking for an edge in picking tomorrow’s winner. That edge is you, Mom. So tell us, which team is going to win tomorrow?
Mom: The Saints.
ST: Okay, you heard it here first! The Saints are going to win the Super Bowl!
And what do you think the final score is going to be, Mom?
ST: 2-0? That’s an odd score. Oh wait, I understand. Two home runs by the Saint, right?
Mom: Exactly! How did you know?
ST: I know you well, Mom.
But let’s talk about something a little more close to home. Since the Steelers aren’t in the Super Bowl this year, I want you to tell me which Pittsburgh team will be the next one to win a world championship, the Steelers, the Penguins, or the Pirates.
Mom: The Pirates.
ST: The Pirates? That’s a bold pick. Care to explain?
Mom: I like Willie Stargell. He’s such a great player. I think he can lead them to another championship.
ST: Ummmmm, you do realize that Willie Stargell is………… Oh nevermind.
Now that I think about it, probably the ONLY way the Pirates will win a championship is if Willie Stargell comes back and leads them to it.
Well that’s all the questions I have for you. Thanks for agreeing to do this interview, Mom.
Mom: You’re not going to print this in that stupid blog, are you?
ST: No Mom, I’d never do that. But thanks for the encouragement.
Mom: You’re welcome, son.
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