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Purple dragon slain!!!!

December 15, 2008 By: Admin Category: Post-Game Reports

Before reading this article, please read the precursor found here.

“Minstrels shall sing of this epoch battle and children shall learn at their fathers’ knees of the fateful Charge of the Men of Steel. Woe unto the evil minions of the Dark Hall for they shall fall in utter defeat to the warriors of the Black and Gold”.
-The soothsayer Nick

And lo, the men of steel didst traverse into the lair of the purple dragon on their quest to slay the mighty beast, and lay claim to the kingdom of AFC North.

The mighty warriors, adorned in their black and gold armor, found themselves surrounded by an  assembly such as had never been seen before in the vile land of Baltimore.  It is said that a record 71,502 orcs, trolls, and other foul worshipers of the purple beast did gather in M&T coliseum to witness the clash that had been foretold.

The mighty purple beast.

The mighty purple beast.

The purple dragon did draw first blood.  The mighty beast inflicted much damage to the valiant men of steel, yet their mettle did not waver.  For almost sixty minutes the two sides did battle, and victory for the forces of purple darkness seemed all but assured.

But when all seemed lost, the mighty warriors Lord Ben, Sir Hines, and Sir Nate did lead a final valiant charge that rallied the men of steel.  Emboldened by the courage of Lord Ben, Sir Hines, and Sir Nate, the other men of steel did rally in kind until finally the young squire “Santonio of the Smoky Weed” did draw his mighty blade and deliver the death blow to the purple beast.

By defeating the great beast, the Men of Steel did lay claim to the kingdom of AFC North and received the gift of the “first round bye”.  The threat of the purple beast was no more, and the children of light could sleep soundly, knowing that good had triumphed over evil.

The Men of Steel must now leave the foul land of Baltimore and travel back to the civilized valleys of Pittsburgh.  Upon returning home, they must prepare for battle once again as they have been challenged by the over-rated Titans of Tennessee.  Like all AFC challengers before them, the Titans shall be found wanting, and the Men of Steel will prove their worthiness to rule the kingdom of AFC.

Epilogue: When the Men of Steel didst defeat the mighty purple behemoth, the sorcery that did empower the beast was lifted, and he reverted to his true form.    Behold, the true nature of the beast.

The dragon's true form.

The dragon's true form.

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9 Comments to “Purple dragon slain!!!!”


  1. “Santonio of the smokey weed”. ha, nice.

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  2. LMAO, you HAVE to do more themed prologues.

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  3. LMAO!!! Nicely done!

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  4. GREAT STUFF! My wife even liked it… GO STEELERS!!!

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  5. THE BURP-PLE DRAGONS WERE SLAYED TO THE 2ND PERCH FROM THE NORTH, WHILE THE STEELERS CAN WIN THE HOMEFIELD NXT WEEK. GO STEELERS,,,,

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  6. love it. i can’t stop smiling imagining ray lewis in a barney costume. great stuff. go steelers!

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  7. I don’t know how you came up with this on such short notice (maybe your great grandfather (to the twenty-fifth power) was Homer, you studied WAY TO MUCH English/Greek literature in college or you’ve been working on this for awhile), but to steal a line from the GREAT Chris Farley (deer scene from “Tommy Boy”), “That was AWESOME”.

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  8. Please follow up with a final chapter with the AFC win.

    All the great tales are trilogys

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  9. Mutt,
    Great suggestion. I think I’ll do just that.

    9

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