Steelers Today - A Pittsburgh Steelers blog

We had lots of good entries for this week’s haiku contest.  Patrick came into this week as a two-time winner, looking for a three-peat.  Did he defend his championship?

While we had lots of good entries, there were two that stood out to me.  Both had excellent concepts, but both also had flaws.  The first entry was by our reigning champ.  Patrick’s entry was as follows:

Paper towels for Suggs
To wipe the tears from his eyes
I’d suggest Bounty

The second noteworthy entry was by Eric Wagner.  It went as follows:

Was it in or out?
Doesn’t really matter for
Ninety-one reasons

Patrick’s entry was very creative, and I loved the play on the word “bounty”, since the Ravens have been known to put out bounties on Steelers players.  Unfortunately, Patrick used the word “towel”.  “Towel” has two acceptable pronunciations.  The first, and most commonly accepted pronunciation has two syllables.  That would give Patrick’s first line 6 syllables rather than five.

Eric’s entry was also very creative, but it too had a flaw.  The final drive was 92 yards, not 91 yards.  Therefore, the last line should probably have been “Ninety-two reasons”.

In my judgment, an error in game statistics is less egregious than an error in syllables, since an extra syllable would disqualify the poem from being a haiku.  Patrick’s entry, though recognized for it’s creativity, is being disqualified.  Therefore, Eric Wagner is this week’s winner. 

Congratulations Eric.  It took some serious haiku jiu jitsu to defeat Patrick.  Patrick has already established that he has a black belt in haiku, so defeating him was no small task.  I expect Patrick to bring a full can of whoop @$$ next week to win his title back, so everyone had better start preparing for a serious rumble next week.

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Well, we got the defensive struggle that we all anticipated.  But in the end, the Steelers proved that their defense was superior to Baltimore’s.  More importantly, the Steelers’ offense proved that they better than Baltimore’s as well.

With their 13-9 victory, the Steelers clinched the AFC North title, and a first round bye.  It might not have been pretty, but a win is a win.

As I do each week, I will summarize the game in the form of a haiku.  A haiku is  a form of Japanese poetry that contains only 3 lines.  The first line has 5 syllables, the second line has 7 syllables, and the third line has 5 syllables.  Here is my offering for this week:

Ball did not break plane
We’ll take the win anyway
AFC North champs!

Okay readers, your turn.  Try to write a better haiku than mine to summarize the Steelers-Ravens game.  The best entry gets posted on the front page of the blog. Start writin’.

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Before reading this article, please read the precursor found here.

“Minstrels shall sing of this epoch battle and children shall learn at their fathers’ knees of the fateful Charge of the Men of Steel. Woe unto the evil minions of the Dark Hall for they shall fall in utter defeat to the warriors of the Black and Gold”.
-The soothsayer Nick

And lo, the men of steel didst traverse into the lair of the purple dragon on their quest to slay the mighty beast, and lay claim to the kingdom of AFC North.

The mighty warriors, adorned in their black and gold armor, found themselves surrounded by an  assembly such as had never been seen before in the vile land of Baltimore.  It is said that a record 71,502 orcs, trolls, and other foul worshipers of the purple beast did gather in M&T coliseum to witness the clash that had been foretold.

The mighty purple beast.

The purple dragon did draw first blood.  The mighty beast inflicted much damage to the valiant men of steel, yet their mettle did not waver.  For almost sixty minutes the two sides did battle, and victory for the forces of purple darkness seemed all but assured.

But when all seemed lost, the mighty warriors Lord Ben, Sir Hines, and Sir Nate did lead a final valiant charge that rallied the men of steel.  Emboldened by the courage of Lord Ben, Sir Hines, and Sir Nate, the other men of steel did rally in kind until finally the young squire “Santonio of the Smoky Weed” did draw his mighty blade and deliver the death blow to the purple beast.

By defeating the great beast, the Men of Steel did lay claim to the kingdom of AFC North and received the gift of the “first round bye”.  The threat of the purple beast was no more, and the children of light could sleep soundly, knowing that good had triumphed over evil.

The Men of Steel must now leave the foul land of Baltimore and travel back to the civilized valleys of Pittsburgh.  Upon returning home, they must prepare for battle once again as they have been challenged by the over-rated Titans of Tennessee.  Like all AFC challengers before them, the Titans shall be found wanting, and the Men of Steel will prove their worthiness to rule the kingdom of AFC.

Epilogue: When the Men of Steel didst defeat the mighty purple behemoth, the sorcery that did empower the beast was lifted, and he reverted to his true form.    Behold, the true nature of the beast.

The dragon's true form.

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On Sunday, the Pittsburgh Steelers travel to Baltimore, MD to take on their AFC North rivals, the Baltimore Ravens.  Last week, the Steelers beat the Dallas Cowboys 20-13, while the Ravens defeated the Washington Redskins 24-10.

The Steelers and Ravens are locked in a race to the finish for the AFC North crown.  The Steelers stand at 10-3, and have a one game lead over the 9-4 Ravens.  If the Ravens win on Sunday, the two teams will be deadlocked at 10-4.  If this should occur, it actually favors the Ravens, who have a slightly easier schedule the rest of the way.

In week 16, the Steelers have to travel to Tennessee to take on the 12-1 Tennessee Titans.  The Titans have the best record in the NFL, and are the only AFC team that has already clinched their division.  The Ravens, on the other hand will be traveling to Dallas to take on the 8-5 Dallas Cowboys.  The Cowboys are locked in the midst of T.O. drama (no surprise there), and seem to be intent upon imploding as the season draws to a close.

In week 17, both teams will conclude their season with home games.  The Steelers will play the 4-9 Cleveland Browns at Heinz Field, while the Ravens will play the 4-9 Jacksonville Jaguars at M&T Stadium.

The Steelers’ remaining opponents have a combined record of 16-10, while the Ravens’ opponents are 12-14.  That is why winning this week is so important for the Steelers.

As we look at the two teams, we see teams that are very similar.  Both are defensive powerhouses, with mediocre offenses.  The Steelers’ defense comes into the game ranked #1 in the NFL.  The Ravens’ defense is right behind them, ranked #2 in the NFL.  Contrarily, the Ravens’ offense is ranked #19 in the NFL, while the Steelers offense is ranked #25.  Neither offense is going to keep the opposing defensive coordinator awake at night.  The defenses on the other hand…….  Let’s just say that both offensive coordinators have probably been drinking Maalox as though it were orange juice this week.

Looking at the two defenses, we see defenses with slightly different strengths.  The Steelers are very good at getting pressure on the quarterback.  They have generated 45 sacks as opposed to only 28 by the Ravens.  The difference is primarily attributable to the Steelers dynamic duo of outside linebackers, James Harrison and LaMarr Woodley.  Harrison and Woodley have combined for almost as many sacks (26.5) as the entire Ravens defense (28).   The pressure that the Steelers are likely to apply to Ravens’ quarterback Joe Flacco has likely been the focus of Ravens’ offensive coordinator Cam Cameron.  He has likely had his running backs and tight ends practicing blocking schemes to support the offensive linemen.  Everyone’s primary responsibility will be to keep Joe Flacco on his feet instead of on his butt.

The Ravens defense poses a slightly different challenge.  What Bruce Arians has been focusing on is probably how to deal with the Ravens tremendous ability to generate turnovers.  Unlike the Steelers, the Ravens don’t dominate teams by sacking their quarterback.  Instead, the Ravens’ strength is in their secondary.  They are exceptional at generating interceptions.  In fact, as a unit, the Ravens lead the NFL in interceptions.  Troy Polamalu may be the individual interception leader, but the Ravens lead as a unit.  Moreover, they are very good at turning those interceptions into scores. 

Bruce Arians has probably spent a lot of time this week with Ben Roethlisberger coaching him on being careful with his passes and making sure that he doesn’t try to force passes into coverage or to throw passes when he is under pressure.  Untimely interceptions can be devastating when playing a team like Baltimore.  The Steelers’ defense can probably control the Ravens’ offense, but a pick six or two by Big Ben could prove to be disastrous.

When the #1 defense in the NFL squares off against the #2 defense, it’s not likely to be a high scoring affair.  A final score of 6-3 is not out of the question.  3-2 might even be possible.  We don’t think it will be that bad, but 49-42 is highly unlikely.

If When the Steelers win this weekend, they will break a 5 year drought in Baltimore.  We predict the Steelers will begin a winning streak in Baltimore on Sunday with a 17-7 victory.

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On Sunday hence, the valiant Steelers of Pittsburgh journey to the land of Baltimore to take on their long-time nemesis, the hated Ravens.  Supremacy of the kingdom called the AFC North hangs in the balance.

This contest shapes up as a battle of good versus evil. It’s Superman vs. Lex Luthor, Barack Obama vs. George Bush, Miracle Whip vs. Mayonnaise, and the other girls on “The View” vs. that Hasselbeck chick, all rolled into one.

Representing the forces of darkness, we have the Baltimore Ravens.  You know, Ray Lewis, Bart Scott, Ed Reed (the second best safety in the NFL after Troy Polamalu), Willis McGahee, and the rest of the villainous thugs from the rancorous land of Baltimore.  Everybody knows about Baltimore.  That’s the foul village where the tale of “The Wire” was told.  Anyone who has heard the tale of The Wire knows that just about everybody who lives in Baltimore only wants to do one thing; pop a cap in your @$$.  Yes, Baltimore is a land of great wickedness.

Welcome to Baltimore

Representing the forces of good, we have the Pittsburgh Steelers (cue harp music).  You know, the gallant knights Troy Polamalu (the guy who is better than Ed Reed), Big Ben, Sir Willie, Friar James, and the rest of the noble men of steel.  The Steelers are the embodiment of goodness and virtue; the opposite of the Baltimore Ravens.

The most famous tale to ever eminate from Pittsburgh was tale of friendly Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.  You remember Mr. Rogers, don’t you?  He was the kindly gentleman who taught children helpful lessons like being respectful of their parents and how to play nicely with one another.  See the difference between “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood” and “The Wire” ?  Well that’s the difference between Pittsburgh and Baltimore.  The noble Steelers versus the foul Ravens.  Good versus evil.

Mr. Rogers

The Ravens’ most famous warrior is Ray Lewis.  Ray Lewis is from a slimy swamp called “The U”.  ”The U” is a fabled land that is known for spawning foul, hideous, smelly creatures.  Kellen Winslow Jr. is from”The U”.  Need we say more?  Ray Lewis is a vile but powerful warrior.  He is evil incarnate.

The Baltimore Ravens weren’t always evil.  Once upon a time, the Ravens were the harmless Cleveland Browns.  They dwelt in the dirty but peaceful place called the land of Cleve.  The Browns were faithfully worshiped by the simple, uneducated folk of the Land of Cleve.  But then an evil wizard, Art Modell, demanded that the poor farmers of the Land of Cleve build him a giant castle lest he take their Browns away from them.  When the gentle country folk of Cleveland were unable to meet the wizard’s demands, he snatched the Browns away from the powerless peasants, and transported them to the more dastardly land called Baltimore.  Modell knew that the vile denizens of Baltimore would be much more supportive of his wicked shenanigans.  Drawing upon arcane magicks, the wizard Modell tranformed the harmless Browns into the villainous Ravens.  Since then, the Ravens’ evil has grown, unchecked by civilized folk.

To break the Ravens’ reign, the forces of good (the Steelers) must vanquish the Ravens in the midst of their halls of power (M&T Stadium).  The Ravens are at their most powerful at M&T Stadium, where they draw from the macabre energies of their worshipers.

Orcs and Trolls from Baltimore

With the power of their followers flowing into them, the Ravens are almost unbeatable in their lair.  The Ravens draw further power from The One Ring.   The One Ring was given to the Ravens in 2001 after Super Bowl XXXV.  The One Ring represents the lone noteworthy accomplishment by the Ravens.  Without it, they are nothing.

To defeat the Ravens, the Steelers will have to draw upon the power of The Five Rings.  The Five Rings is a source of far greater power than The One Ring.

The Steelers last defeated the Ravens in their evil lair in 2002.  The Steelers were only able to defeat them there in 2002 because they had the valiant Prince Bettis fighting by their side.  Without Prince Bettis, victory is far more difficult.  However, the Steelers do have Prince Bettis’ young apprentice, Sir Willie, to help lead them to victory.

If the Ravens win, it will usher in a new era of struggle.  The Steelers and Ravens will find themselves locked in a battle to the finish for rulership of the kingdom of AFC North.

If the Steelers are victorious, then goodness and light will continue to shine upon the AFC North.   The Steelers will likely win the AFC North and a 1st round playoff bye.  Songs will be sung, and we will eat, drink, and be merry.

May the power of The Five Rings be with the men of steel.

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